Riverdale Park - baseball and a wedding in the setting sun

Due to a broken scooter and a few snaggles, we didn't get to the wedding till the 7th inning (game going on down below), but we had enough sun for a lovely sunset wedding.   The team congratulated the couple warmly!

Riverdale Park wedding - CN tower view 

Riverdale Park wedding at dusk

Trinity Bellwoods elopement - in the north end, tucked in a small grove

Because sometimes you have to avoid the frisbee games, the jogging mommies, and the dogs - but it's a big park, and there is peace on a sunny afternoon 

Trinity Bellwoods Summer Wedding

Comment: and here is the eclipse!  I was wandering around Trinity Bellwoods a few weeks later, handing out safety glasses, and met a couple I married 3 years ago!  ah, Toronto....

Clubs and halls and stages - Tranzac Club wedding

We have had some lovely weddings in 'club' or 'performance' spaces - they come ready-made with stages, chairs, bars, sound people, lighting & mikes, etc.  We've used movie theatres, real theatres, club bars, ballrooms, and last month another wedding at the Tranzac Club @ Bloor/Brunswick.  Entirely wonderful.

Summer Wedding @ Tranzac Club

Downtown Patio Wedding - simple and sunny family wedding

We're actually on Baldwin Street, on the 2nd floor patio, with all of Toronto summer life passing beneath us, and "Despacito" playing from next door.  A short ceremony, some Veuve, and voila! A lovely afternoon. 

More millennial couples are opting to elope | Toronto Star

More millennial couples are opting to elope | Toronto Star
Well, this was funny. The Star called to ask me about eloping - so I sent them a zillion pages of notes - but they ended up with a just a snippet of text about Toronto, and not much info.  I did offer them some LOVELY stories about creative elopements,

 (today we took a limo + parents down to Polson Pier, where the couple met at the Night Market - voila!  Great time, great view!)

Polson Pier, morning elopement (before the nightclub pool rocks out)

What I wanted the Star to say was that 'eloping' is a historical term for a private wedding - and there are many reasons for a quiet legal wedding, from 'Romantic' to 'Practical'. Sometimes an elopement replaces a Big Fat Wedding, and sometimes it's a practical step before a fancy "destination" wedding.  But generally, it just means small and friendly.

Anyway, here is an article on Eloping in Jane Austen's day :

"The Marriage Act of 1753 made it increasingly difficult for upper class men to “marry down,” and for women to marry men outside their rank. To get around this law, a desperate couple could obtain a special license from the Archbishop of Canterbury, or elope to Gretna Green in Scotland, where English law held no sway and marriage at 16 was legal...

Over the years many couples would run away to Gretna Green for their marriages to take place. The ceremonies were usually performed by one of the village blacksmiths who in those days were at the heart of the community and held in suitable regard. Even today, many of the Ministers refer, in their services, to the similarity of a blacksmith joining 2 metals over the anvil to the marriage ceremony joining 2 people as one.

Little Toronto outdoor elopement in a 'secret garden' - in plain sight!

Of course it has been raining a lot this year - so we've had to be creative about outdoor elopements. Often, we have two or three ideas, and wait to see what the weather will do.  (It's important to have at least ONE backup location with a roof, though, or an indoor spot in reserve). This fun couple from the USA was at a downtown hotel, but the skies cleared and we slipped into Osgoode Hall as they were closing for the day (the grounds stay open).
Here's a little corner of greenery in the middle of Toronto, with a view of 2 city halls, old and new! 

Library Elopement for literary couples

This is actually a HOME library, but delightful, because it's only one floor of the thousands of books in the collection of a literature professor at UofT. This was a wonderful home elopement of a couple who had just a few close friends and family to their simple wedding.  Some of my colleagues from the writing world turned up too, which was a wonderful surprise for all of us. Book people keep bumping into each other, somehow...

I have held weddings in other libraries, including Robarts, and the actual library stacks at the Faculty of Information Studies, as well as many bookstores.  We had a couple of lovely weddings in the Library at the Grange (Art Gallery of Ontario), which will host a small elopement/family wedding and cater you a wonderful reception or historic afternoon tea.   Yay books.

Looking for Green Space: Elopements and outdoors ideas

The little pathway between the ROM/ Royal Conservatory and Trinity College is a lovely wooded walk we have used over the years for little informal weddings. Lots of nice trees, and a little paved nook or two to stand quietly in a circle.  Yes, people are always passing by, and you have to watch for the music camp children running around for recess (quite busy now in July, several camps - best at 5pm), and sometimes there are sports events at Trinity field, but it's a public space and you can't get/don't need a permit for 4 or 5 people to stand under a tree for 20 minutes.

Philosophers Walk 

NOTE: You MUST get a PERMIT for the main UofT campus, by Hart House, so don't even try holding an informal wedding or anything resembling a wedding photoshoot, or the security staff will stop you. Alternatives nearby are Queens Park (if there isn't a fair or expo), or some of the little Annex parkettes.  To the west, we had a little wedding in Bickford Park (south of Christie Pitts), under a nice tree, tho we had to compete with Saturday morning soccer! Once again, just 6 people. You can't bring a large group.  Rule of thumb: Over a DOZEN PEOPLE usually requires a permit. Because a dozen is a GROUP.  Write me if you have questions, please.

Trinity Bellwoods

Trinity Bellwoods still works for small groups, and Dufferin grove, tho you should ask the committee for larger groups than 8-ish. In the East, you can take a small group to the bottom of Withrow Park or Riverdale, or some other local small parks.  Don't even think of holding an elopement in the Distillery without a permit, tho. You can work out something with the Brickworks, and have lunch at Cafe Belong. Brickworks will want a permit and a fee for anything other than a small 'standing around-doesn't-look like a wedding' group. Be aware.
Northwards, there are little parks around Walmer, a nice little memorial park at Avenue Road and St Clair, and we've had little weddings in a few little community parkettes by people's homes.

Allan Gardens

In terms of downtown permits /rentals, (for elopements and slightly bigger groups, 12-30) you can 'rent a garden' inside Allan Gardens, Here we are last week. You can also get a permit for the Rose Garden at St James Park.  You can also RENT Casa Loma's Conservatory for just yourselves, or a group - same price for both ($$$$$). Be creative, scout your neighbourhood. Condo parks are great, because you can bring a group. Back gardens at restaurants are pretty.  You can get a picnic permit for the Island for a group event, or just wander over and find a spot - or arrange a little wedding at the Cafe garden, and yummy lunch!

Allan Gardens is great inside, but your permit also covers the grounds and the flowers outside. Here is the flower garden, and the wedding party in front of the greenhouse.

Allan Gardens front garden

Allan Gardens front of greenhouse

Intimate legal wedding in a downtown condo

What a lovely evening.  Just the couple and their witnesses, and a quiet private wedding.  They are going to celebrate overseas and have another ceremony in the spring ceremony with family.  So, two anniversaries!

Small condo wedding

and then, another one! Also planning a fall wedding, later.

Evening apartment wedding

Toronto Hotel Elopements - cosy private weddings

I'm reposting this article on Winter Weddings, as I'm too busy with winter weddings to put up a new post!  But you can read about winter wedding ideas here

Several couples chose to hold small private weddings and elopements in Toronto hotels this last couple of weeks, specifically, the King Eddy, the Windsor Arms, The Grand Hotel on Jarvis, the Gladstone, and the Templar Hotel on Adelaide. [this month, include the Radisson, Trump, Four Seasons]. It's a nice way to have a special event, and some privacy. The witnesses were mostly friends, family, or in one case, their children.

It's your choice whether to inform the hotel you're holding a wedding.  It can have benefits, or it can add costs.  One couple informed the staff they were getting married, and they got 'upgraded' to a penthouse.  (They also moved the furniture out of the way a bit, scattered some biodegradeable rose petals and brought a guitar along instead of an IPAD). note: the Windsor Hotel has some rooms with guitars - they are, however, mostly out of tune...  Some rooms also have pianos, tho this might be more useful in the sitting room than the bedroom?

 

Windsor Arms Hotel Suite with Piano

Another couple BOOKED a penthouse room, but just said they were 'celebrating an occasion',  A third was so discreet I don't think the hotel ever realized we were holding a small wedding.  Some couples chose to go to dinner afterward (in the hotel, in a couple of cases) or just to the bar for oysters and champagne to celebrate.  Finding ourselves without one witness, one hotel sent up a Concierge, who had a lovely time and even got a little verklempt!

We have held larger family weddings at hotels that cater in-room events, like the Four Seasons and the Plaza and the Trump. They will deliver drinks, a cake, and at the Four Seasons, even a chef.  But if you just want a quiet romantic elopement, find a nice cozy room with a view, and bring your own champagne. Check Groupon! Get upgraded!

Small Private Wedding at Templar Hotel

Small Private Wedding at King Edward Hotel

"If I get married in another country can I just 'sign the papers' here?" (or "Registering a Marriage")

Here is yet another variation of a query for 'signing the papers', or 'registering a marriage'.  A couple just asked me: they had picked up a proper Ontario marriage license, and then went abroad and had a wedding, and thought we could now just 'sign the papers' certifying their foreign wedding.

Nope.  To get legally married in ONTARIO, and apply for an ONTARIO MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE, you must hold a short verbal legal wedding ceremony in ONTARIO, with a properly licensed Ontario Marriage Officiant, in front of two legal witnesses who hear and see the spoken ceremony.  Then you sign documents, immediately following.

Because what marries you is this legal ceremony, not 'signing the papers'.  It must be a short verbal ceremony, in front of your witnesses, and it MUST include the legal Mandatory Declarations from the Marriage Act.  It's not long, and the legal parts are of course not religious, but they must be followed.

THEN you can 'sign the papers' (Registry, Marriage License, Record of Solemnization), and your officiant will certify and file the papers with the Registrar in Thunder Bay within 48 hours.  After the data has been entered in the records of the Province, you can file for your Certificate of Registration (eg., "Marriage Certificate").

I seem to be discussing this weekly, so here is yet another reminder.
Please see:  Legal Weddings FAQ

AGO: Frank restaurant for small family weddings

The AGO has many spaces, in additional to the large spaces, like Baille Court. New! You can book the small Grange Library (with High Tea or cocktails), and you can book one end of The Bistro (formerly Frank restaurant) - the gallery area by Dundas- for the ceremony, and the adjacent dining area for the dinner. Not sure about numbers, but maybe 40-50 people?  The backdrop will be whatever art is on show - this wedding was very fortunate, with a vibrant background. And they chose Frank because they met a chef school! This pix is by Alicia Thurston -  there's another great pix from this wedding in an earlier post.

Private morning wedding in Casa Loma

Yes, you can actually 'elope' or have a private wedding at Casa Loma! It will be the same fee to rent the Conservatory (where they hold weddings) for a hundred people or for 6 (or 20, or any small group). There will be tourists in the main part of Casa Loma, but you can have the conservatory to yourself for an hour.  These weddings are normally in the morning (light is good!) and then you can take photos in the fun parts of the castle, and also in the gardens.  This couple is from Quebec, and they just liked getting married in a Castle.

Casa Loma Elopement

Romantic winter elopement - Hilton Hotel by the fireplace

We had planned an outdoor ceremony - perhaps on the waterfront, or on the ferry, or even on the island.  Then we thought about Grange Park by the Bell Tower, or even the grounds of Osgoode Hall.  But the weather turned nasty - so we asked the downtown Hilton if they had a room we could use.  They kindly said that they would open the tower lounge just for us, for a short private wedding.  Hurrah!

and after the wedding, the view...

Evening wedding at Le Select - ceremony, drinks and dinner!

This was a tremendously lovely wedding at Le Select Bistro, down on Wellington. A marvellous couple, and we had the best time! And of course, the staff is great (I've actually married some of them!), and the food is marvellous...  Great for a group of 25-50 people, for a wedding and dinner.

Small legal wedding behind Trinity College - happy and informal

A very lovely couple who are going abroad were looking for a small legal wedding somewhere around the University.   You can't do this many places, as you need a permit (esp near Hart House).  But if you don't  SEEM like a 'wedding', and you don't bother people, and there's just 4 of you, it's possible to find a little nook and be discreet.  Here's the 5 of us, looking very happy indeed, on the hill behind Trinity College - the new couple are in the middle, witnesses surrounding them. 

At the same time as we finished filling out the papers, a large wedding party marched up the path, bridesmaids in more ruffles and platform shoes than I've seen in ages.  It was quite a fun contrast - both couples very happy, and a beautiful fall day, and cheer all around.  I don't think the fancy wedding realized what we were doing, but the couple who were eloping were tickled by the other entourage!

Pop-up weddings, CN Tower, Museums,Galleries, Monuments, Parks and Gardens

It would be wonderful to be able to just turn up at your favourite location and hold a pop-up wedding.  After conducting weddings for almost 1500 people, I have lots of opinions on pop-up, guerilla, flashmob, and other surprise weddings.

Primarily, it is very difficult to hold a popup wedding in public museums and monuments and all those locations where you met, or hung out.  Most public institutions have guards, and lots of closed -circuit television. They understand what you are doing, and they will come and ask you to stop.  This is also the case with wedding photography, as they will also stop anyone who is trying to do engagement or wedding photos without a permit.  THIS IS WHY you do not see millions of wedding or fashion photographers in your favourite museum, monument (such as Union Station) or gallery.  They do this after hours, or they pay LOTS of money for the privilege.

You can certainly buy a permit for a wedding at Allan Gardens, the beautiful 19th century conservatory.  You CANNOT try to hold a popup there without a permit, as the long-suffering guard's job is to stop you.  The same with the Guild in Scarborough, the music garden, the Toronto Botanic Garden, and parts of the islands.  You cannot hold a wedding on the main UofT campus (around Hart House Circle), as you will be stopped.  You will be stopped quite firmly in the Distillery.  Also, parts of the Brickworks. It is the JOB of the guards to come and ask for your permit.

Please read the post on park weddings.  It's a Catch-22:  you must have a permit for a park wedding - BUT, the parks department will not issue permits for all parks.  The problem is that many weddings abuse the locations (bringing too many people, chairs, high heels, confetti, etc.) and the parks department can't supervise locations not set up for weddings.  YOU may have the best intentions in the world to be respectful, but other people have ruined things for you in advance. This is why High Park has now banned all weddings - because bad people treated it as an event space, not a park.

SO.  Here are some ideas. The CN tower (like Grand Central Station in NY)  will allow you to come in and stand in a corner and have a teeny wedding.  You have to buy admission for everyone anyway, so as long as it's short and you don't bother anyone, it's possible. The tourists will smile, or ignore you, or squeeze around you. You cannot do this at Ripley's, tho you can book the party room and then get tickets for all (which I think come with the booking).

You can't use Queens Park (the front of the building), tho you can use Queen's Park PARK, behind the legislature (by King Eddy).  You cannot use the AGO, but you can book the lovely library in the Grange and have a wedding by the fireplace AND HIGH TEA!  You can also use Grange Park BEHIND the ROM. You cannot do Casa Loma without a permit, but you can pay lots of money for a private wedding in the Conservatory at Casa Loma.  The ROM is all on closed-circuit TV.  Don't try it.  But you can use philosopher's walk, beside the  ROM, and then you inside and take some romantic cell phone pix. 

A legal wedding takes some calm, and some time.  It's not like the movies.  Basically, you need 25 minutes, and some peace and calm, and a place to hear, where your witnesses can also hear properly.  Then you need to sit down and sign all those papers. You must also document the wedding with a photo, in case you need to prove this for a non-traditional wedding.  So you need to be able to take at least cell phone photos.

SO, it's best to find a quiet place for a little legal wedding and THEN go and take some post-wedding photos in your fave location.  Or, try talking to your favourite restaurant or bar, and see whether you can have a quiet corner at 4pm between service, for a 'little private event' , and then stay for food and drinks!  Don't say the word "wedding" at first, just say 'celebration'.  Many locations will be happy to give you your 20 minutes and sell you some prosecco and nibblies.

We might also be able to slip into your nearby small parkette, or some friendly spaces like Trinity Bellwoods, Riverdale, etc.,, with a handful of people.  But for a larger event (over 12 people ) find a location which issues permits:  Allan Gardens, Toronto Botanical, Music Garden, etc.  Ask me.

Please write me with your ideas and I'll try to help.  Little popup weddings are great fun, as long as we can relax and hear and do things properly.  And not bother OTHER people, of course.   Your wedding should be fun and memorable, not fraught with being chased out of your favourite location.

Storys Building - a classy summer wedding!

Fabulous wedding at the Storys Building, a downtown loft near Roy Thompson Hall.  This (and other great weddings) by Photographer Natasha Bardin