Elements of a simple legal marriage ceremony

HOW to HOLD a SIMPLE LEGAL MARRIAGE CEREMONY

The couple themselves are responsible for obtaining a legal marriage license before the wedding. You may apply online, but one of you (or both) must go IN PERSON to pick up the license and swear that the information is correct.

You must be married by a LICENSED ONTARIO MARRIAGE OFFICIANT.
After a simple verbal legal ceremony in front of 2 witnesses, the legal officiant will give the couple a Record of Solemnization, signed by the Officiant and the witnesses, to state that the wedding took place.  The officiant must then file your official Marriage License with the Registrar General within 48 hours.

In 6-10 weeks, the couple may request a Certificate of Marriage Registration (known as a "Marriage Certificate") from the Province of Ontario (note, this is not mailed automatically, you must apply for it).  See more information here: Toronto Registry Office, and  Getting Married in Ontario

Note requirements for divorced couples, those with foreign identity documents.
You must also provide TWO legal witnesses, over the age of 18.

'SIGNING THE PAPERS'
Couples often ask us if we will just 'sign the papers', because they want a very simple legal wedding ceremony, or perhaps they are planning a more elaborate ceremony later, with friends and family, and want a legal ceremony first, or sometimes they have had a cultural ceremony which was not legal, or they have asked a friend of the family who is not a legally registered officiant to perform a 'celebration of marriage' ceremony, and want to legally 'register' the marriage. 

While 'signing the papers' is the closing part of a legal marriage ceremony, the Marriage Act requires that we first hold a simple verbal actual ceremony, in front of 2 witnesses, which includes the required elements legislated by the Marriage Act of Ontario. This means the voices of the two persons, repeating the words from the Marriage Act. This is because because marriage is a formal  legal agreement between two parties - which is enacted in a public 'marriage ceremony', where you state in front of the legally certified officiant that you are accepting the other person as your legal spouse: this is the same whether we're meeting in your kitchen, my office, the CN Tower, the beach - or in a formal wedding location.  You sign the documents AFTER the ceremony, to show you all participated in the legal wedding.

STANDARD LEGAL WEDDING

Wedding Ceremonies may thus be informal or formal, but the following parts must be included, and the LEGAL MARRIAGE OFFICIANT must conduct the parts listed below. 

If you wish to include other family or friends, other persons can offer statements, readings, blessings, introduce the couple, and also perform the ring exchange (which is not a legal requirement. This is called a 'co-officiated' wedding, in which the legal officiant performs the required parts, and the other person may conduct the traditional or family-oriented parts.

ASSEMBLY, STATEMENT OF PARTIES. The officiant will introduce themselves by name, as a licensed representative of the government and state their own licensing body and tradition, and announce "We have assembled together at this time for the wedding ceremony of (full legal names) NAME1 and NAME2.

WITNESS AFFIRMATION. The officiant notes the presence of the witnesses, and asks for their participation:  "Are you willing to be a legal witness for the marriage of N and N2?" "I am").

STATEMENT on MARRIAGE. The officiant makes a short statement about marriage, so that we all know we are present for a wedding ceremony. (not a betrothal, or commitment, etc.)

Example:  Marriage is a legal institution not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but following consideration and with reflection by both parties. A marriage is based on mutual love and respect, and a determination on the part of both persons to support and adjust to each other's temperaments and conditions, in health or sickness, joy or sadness, ease or hardship.  It is with this understanding of the shared benefits and legal responsibilities of marriage that n & n2 come now to be joined

INTENTION to MARRY or CONSENT. The officiant asks the couple individually if they are here freely, knowing no legal impediment to being married, and are prepared to enter into a legal marriage at this time with the other party, and asks them each to repeat:  "I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I (Name1) may not be joined in matrimony to (Name2).

THE VOWS. The officiant asks the couple to each state out loud to the other person that they accept the other person as their legal spouse. They must say:  "I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (Name) do take you (Name) to my lawful wedded husband/wife/partner/spouse". 
You may add personal vows or statements after this legal portion.

DECLARATION. The officiant states that this contract has been entered into by these two persons, and that the witnesses have witnessed this agreement (example: "In front of us all, this couple have exchanged their promises and agreed to meet sorrow and joy as one family") Then:

 "I  [OFFICIANT NAME] by virtue of the powers vested in me by the Marriage Act, do hereby pronounce you Name1 and Name2 to be married"

Then the officiant, the witnesses and the couple each sign the MARRIAGE LICENSE, MARRIAGE REGISTER, & RECORD of SOLEMNIZATION.

The officiant congratulates the couple and INTRODUCES THEM as a married couple.

KISS & TOAST etc. (optional) 

The officiant files the MARRIAGE LICENSE in 48 hours, and 6-8 weeks later, the couple can apply for the CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE REGISTRATION, described above.

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Here is a CHECKLIST for organizing a simple wedding, including music, handling of guests, announcements, etc.
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OPTIONAL CEREMONY ELEMENTS:
The Exchange of Rings, Music, Poetry, Candles, Flowers, Readings, and other rituals are traditional, and optional. THE KISS IS OPTIONAL. RINGS ARE OPTIONAL. The couple may write their own vows, and say them in their own language. At any point during the ceremony, the couple may address their family or assembled guests, or ask a friend or family member to make remarks, to offer readings, music, or other appropriate contributions.

The OFFICIANT may also read appropriate selections, as the couple requests. The couple may exchange flowers, a wine cup, tea, candles, or other symbols. The tone can be formal, informal, humorous, family-oriented, or anything you choose, as long as the required elements are included.

Be sure to ask your officiant for the options available to expand upon these required elements, or to add cultural elements from your tradition. (Glass smashing, wine toast, 7 blessings, 7 steps, circling, ring warming, handfasting, tea or saki ceremony, etc.)

FAQ: How to have a small private wedding in Toronto, Ontario

First Things First:

Find your partner, propose, rinse and repeat.  Promise to love and support each other through thick and thin, congratulate yourselves, and enjoy the happiness of your decision.

Practical steps:

1)  Witnesses:  You need two witnesses over the age of 18.  So ask friends and family if they will help, or ask your officiant to assist in finding legal witnesses for you.  Some couples hire a photographer to record their elopement, and the photographer can act as one of the witnesses. It's important to secure the witnesses as soon as possible, as their presence is legally required.

3)  Officiant:  If you've decided to be married privately, you need to find a legally registered Marriage Officiant, licensed by the Province to officiate at your wedding. If you are are looking for a non-religious wedding , you can go to a municipal Marriage Commissioner or City Clerk (City Hall wedding), or you can find an officiant through the Ontario Humanist Society  Humanist Officiants are 'ethical' (rather than 'faith-based') clergy, and we conduct wedding ceremonies which are thoughtful, secular (non-religious), personalized to suit each couple, and legally equivalent to a City Hall or 'Civil' wedding.  You can see samples of a Humanist wedding ceremony here.
You can contact me at WeddingsofToronto and I'll happily refer you to licensed officiants in the GTA. 

Contact your Officiant, see if they are available, and discuss your wishes for the ceremony. Humanist and Unitarian officiants are very flexible, and will ensure that the legal requirements of the ceremony are met, while allowing you to personalize the ceremony and reflect your own style, traditions and wishes, from traditional to informal.

4) Location:

The City of Toronto says "You can get married in Ontario just about anywhere you like, provided you have a licensed minister to perform the ceremony and, if you are holding the ceremony in a public space, the proper permit."

This means you can be married in a park, in your apartment, in a loft, garden, hotel, restaurant, the CN tower, in your living room, my living room, the party room of your condo (or your friend's condo), at Ontario Place, The Toronto Islands, in a pub, in a bistro or cafe, at Hart House, Cameron House, McLean House, Black Creek Farm, Riverdale Farm, your farm (or your garden allotment!) or almost anywhere else you wish. You CAN be married in a boat or an airplane, but you must sign the papers back on land. We have married couples in the skypod at the CN tower, and the skating rink at Nathan Phillips, and other fun locations. You can be married at Starbucks - but, really - you can find somewhere a little more fun.  Be creative, but consider the comfort of your witnesses in a Toronto winter, or under the blazing summer sun at the end of Ashbridges Bay...

Note: the City of Toronto only issues park wedding permits for a certain number of selected parks, and they expect that you will be having a 'big' wedding. So you can gather in a small group for a simple celebration almost anywhere (just like you can go birdwatching or have an impromptu picnic with under 25 people), but if you want the white dress /  bridesmaids / lots of guests / videographer- type of wedding, you will need a permit: contact the City to reserve one of the designated 'wedding' parks. Here are some ideas.

5) Marriage License:
You may obtain a marriage license from any municipality in Ontario, and use the license in Toronto or any other Ontario city. The License fee seems to vary a bit by locality. This fee can be paid by cash, money order, certified cheque, or credit card. The City will not refund marriage license fees once a license has been issued. The license is good for 3 months, and there is no waiting period for marriages; you can obtain the license and be married the same day. Either or both of the persons to be married may obtain the license, with appropriate identification. In Toronto, you may only obtain up a license at;

• Toronto City Hall
• Etobicoke Civic Centre
• North York Civic Centre
• Scarborough Civic Centre

York and East York Civic Centres have application forms and information only, they do not issue Marriage Licenses.  LOCATION and HOURS

If you have been divorced in Canada, you must provide the original or a court-certified copy of your certificate of divorce, or Decree Absolute. If the marriage was dissolved or annulled in a jurisdiction other than Canada, the applicants must obtain authorization from the Minister of Consumer and Commercial Relations before a marriage license may be issued.

6)  Little details:
Pick up flowers at a deli or corner florist. Grab a pin so you can put one of the flowers on your jacket. 
Buy rings from Kensington Market, local craft stores, or make your own rings. Buy a couple of cupcakes and a split of bubbly.  Bring your glasses to sign the license. Bring your ID for the officiant. BRING THE LICENSE.

7)  When you get to your wedding location  - turn off your cell phones - you can tweet afterwards.

8)   GET MARRIED:  Bring your partner, your witnesses, the license and go meet your officiant.  If you are exchanging rings, go ahead and buy them, but rings are not REQUIRED for a legal wedding ceremony. 

9)  Paperwork:  After the ceremony, the Marriage Officiant will sign and certify the Marriage License, along with you and your witnesses.  The Officiant will give you the Record of Solemnization of Marriage as a souvenir document recording the marriage.  They will take the signed license and send it to the Records office in Thunder Bay.  After about 6-10 weeks, you may request a Record of Marriage Registration from the Province, as a final legal proof that your marriage is registered.  You can apply online or by mail.  If you apply by mail, a good practice is to photocopy the Record of Solemnization, and mail a copy along with the order form - this will be a verification of your legal names and is helpful in location your form in the Ministry computer system.

In Toronto, there is only one full Service Ontario location to apply for your Record of Marriage Registration:

Service Ontario
4th Flr Unit 417,
47 Sheppard Avenue East

which can answer any questions about requesting a marriage license, or expediting your request for a certificate.

10)  Celebrate! - and live happily ever after.

Witnesses for a Elopement Ceremony

Even if you're eloping, you still need two witnesses over the age of 18 to be present at the ceremony, and to sign the license. Witnesses can be from any country, as long as they have some ID and are age 18 or over.
Some of your friends might like to be invited, or close family members - especially at the last minute. If you do not have anyone in town, you can ask your officiant for recommendations, or hire a photographer (and assistant, perhaps) for the wedding, and they will be able to serve as witnesses. It's an honour to serve as a wedding witness, so spend a little time thinking about this important element.

How to Plan a Simple Wedding in Toronto (full post)

HOW TO ELOPE or PLAN A SMALL WEDDING in Toronto
(here is the original list, moved from the First Page....)

1. Find partner. Propose. Rinse and repeat. You can be married anywhere in Ontario, indoors or out - from back yards to balconies to condo party rooms to a private room in a restaurant - but you may need a permit for some public spaces, esp. parks or waterfront.
3. Find all your IDs (passport, drivers license, birth certificate, divorce papers if relevant. If you have been divorced or widowed, bring documents and information regarding the previous marriage and spouse. You MUST disclose all previous marriages, including those in other countries. If you have been divorced OUTSIDE CANADA there are more requirements.
4. Decide if either of you will change your name. Not required in Ontario, and you do not have to make this decision when you apply for the Marriage License.
5. LICENSE  information

https://www.toronto.ca/services-payments/venues-facilities-bookings/getting-married/step-1-applying-for-a-marriage-licence/

The cost in Toronto is currently about $140.  It is good for 90 days. You may get a marriage license from any municipality in Ontario, and use the license in Toronto or another Ontario city. 

6. Find a Marriage Officiant who is licensed to conduct legal marriages in Ontario. Check to make sure they are legally  registered.
[NOTE: Humanist Officiants are technically classified as RELIGIOUS 'clergy' by the Province - because thre is no category for 'ethical but not religious' in the province.  However, we perform Non-Religious, secular marriage ceremonies, legally equivalent to "Civil Marriages", much the same as a Justice of the Peace, but with more personal touches. 
We emphasize ethical rather than religious traditions and we also conduct other cultural rites of passage -  baby-namings, coming of age, funerals, etc., much the same as 'religious' clergy, but without any references to religion. We use poetry, (from Shakespeare to Leonard Cohen or Margaret Atwood) rather than scriptural texts.]
Here are some Sample Humanist wedding ceremonies
7. Choose your legal witnesses, 2 persons over age 18.
8. Buy a ring or two (not actually required by law). Yes, you can have tattooed rings. Or wooden rings. Or one ring. Or none.
9. Buy some flowers, or not - your choice, but nice, even at a corner deli - bring ribbons and pins!
10. Discuss your ceremony wishes with the officiant. You can ask for sample ceremonies, and discuss writing your own vows, or other personal touches. Some parts of the ceremony are legal requirements, but much of it may be customized. Most elopements are simple 15 minute ceremonies. 
11. Meet your officiant, exchange your vows, pledge your lives into the others keeping. Kiss.
12. Sign the license. Witnesses sign the license. Officiant signs license with official date and time. You all sign the Marriage Register (your officiant's book of recorded weddings). Witnesses sign the Record of Solemnization, which is handed to you to keep as a record of your marriage.
13. The officiant will congratulate you, and take the signed license and THEY WILL REGISTER IT FOR YOU. Approximately 90 days later, you may apply for a Certificate of Registration of the Marriage, from the Provincial Office in Thunder Bay. That's the final step, and the Certificate is needed for passports or Driver's License changes.
14. Pop the champagne, and celebrate your new union!

And here is a post on 'jobs' for your friends and family to help you plan a small wedding.