Pretty Guildwood wedding on 10-10-10

Here we are, on the cliffs at Guildwood, at 10:10am on 10/10/10  (yes indeedy!)  We had a permit - very important for Guildwood - but it was really quiet early in the morning.  There were flocks of birds and gently falling leaves, and it was rather magical, actually!

However, it's NOT on the subway, of course, so you'll need a car to get there - or at least pick people up from Kennedy subway.  It's worth the trek on a beautiful fall day.  Be warned, the wedding limos were pulling up as we left....

High Park Wedding - small and impromptu

This was a lovely little wedding - we signed the license on the bench where the couple used to meet when they were in school.  Note:  You can't really get a permit for a BIG wedding in High Park any more - too many people abused the privilege.  But you can stand around in a little group of 5 or 6 people and have a private wedding or elopement - as long as you are discreet.  Just find a little spot off the regular tourist areas (and then come back and take a few pictures and sign the license)

Wedding spaces: The Young Center, Distillery District

As the mom of an acting family, I think weddings in Theatres are wonderful. The new Young Center in the Distillery District has lots of cool spaces.  You can see some wedding setups on their Site Rental pages, here. Like other event spaces, the background is cool enough that you don't need much additional decoration - a swag or two of tulle and a few flowers are probably more than enough - and the setting itself is interesting and of course already in the Distillery District.  Remember, it's used by the Theatre on performance nights - so I'm not sure about weekend availability...

Black Creek village - candles and weather and wind and wildness

We had a lovely wedding at the village - candlelit ceremony in the church, and then a walk to the reception pavilion.However, though the reception pavilion is well-roofed, it can be cold in the shoulder seasons if the wind comes up. (And very hot in the church in the summer, of course!)

Remember the obvious: Pioneer settings, camp settings, conservation settings (Kortwright) and anything outdoors is NOT climate-controlled, so plan accordingly, warn your guests to bring wraps, bug spray (and a change of shoes - high heels on grass and cobblestone are treacherous). It may be obvious to you, but it won't be clear to those who haven't visited the venue.

Weddings for Older Couples: Elopements for Seniors and Baby-boomers

We've had a few nice small weddings lately for older people - not just second marriages , but for people who are actually ELOPING at 64 (or earlier, of course, but since I'm that exact age, the Beatles refrain naturally runs through my head - how did I get here already? grin)

Most of these couples have been living together for quite some time - often decades - but just never got married.  Some come to us because of financial planning, or other retirement concerns which suddenly pop up as you are nearing retirement.  Some are doing things as practical as going on holiday, and are concerned about health issues.  SOME are simply romantic, and want a small private wedding (sometimes with adult children - and grandchildren in tow) to celebrate their decision.

We've had the ceremonies in our office, in their homes, backyards, and at restaurants - sometimes with family, sometimes with long-time friends, sometimes just the couple (and their witnesses) but the weddings have been lovely, simple, and very touching.

The words we say change a bit when you have been keeping house together for 30 years - we often talk about the couples life not changing, but simply becoming stronger. We can talk about the years they've spent together, and their plans for the future, or simply celebrate their partnership. 

"...for N & N their relationship has not changed – it has endured thirty years.  Today their relationship simply grows stronger, made more powerful by their pledge to each other to support and love one another through all of life’s joys and challenges. For marriage is not the beginning, but the maturing of love - it is love freely given and gladly returned and it is both ordinary and extraordinary because it is simply about everyday living.."

Here is a reading I like to use for couples who are 'getting married at 64'
Captain Corelli’s mandolin, Louis de Bernieres.
Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of eternal passion. That is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two

Two ROM wedding tales: Royal Ontario Museum & Philosopher's Walk weddings

On the weekend, we had a big lovely wedding in the Rotunda of the ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) Lots of people - great food, and a super band.  I may write a note about it, as it was quite special - a secular / Hindu ceremony, with candles, some traditional elements, and some modern multicultural elements. Great acoustics in the Rotunda!

Today, however, I met a couple inside the Museum, and we went out into Philosopher's Walk, next door (between the ROM and the Royal Conservatory of Music), and we found some nice students relaxing on the path who offered to serve as witnesses, and we held a small impromptu wedding in under the trees and sat on the grass to sign the license.  Then the new couple went BACK into the ROM to explore the Mineral Gallery. Because it was Free Admission Day!  (They planned to zoom down to the AGO afterwards to take in 2 free museums on their wedding day.  Two styles, two events, with the ROM between them...

Drake Hotel Wedding Location

And down the block from the Gladstone, still on Queen Street West, is the Drake Hotel , of course.  We also had a bit of a retro themed wedding, but that seems natural in the SkyYard (roof deck).  We used the tiki bar as a backdrop, and signed the license on the bar.  Fortunately, the rain held off!  So all the guests could crowd around the middle area.  The food and drink service was great - as was the boardroom area for the bride, and for signing things and collecting ourselves.  The guests had a ball.

Toronto Island Weddings - logistics

Most of the yacht clubs have their own launches, which leave from different quays downtown. You can get a water taxi, but it's expensive, and they get very busy at certain times.

 If you're taking the ferry, to an elopement, one of the clubhouses, etc. - be sure to plan for the TICKET LINES.  Mid-week, it's daycamps and tourists, weekends, it's the whole city.  There is only one booth that takes visa, you can't buy your tickets online, and the single automatic ticket dispenser is terrible and only prints one ticket at a time. The best idea is to go a few days before and buy a block of tickets - they are good 'forever', and you can skip lines.

Once you get there, it's easy.  Elopements on the picnic grounds under a tree, the beach, even by the fountains on Centre Island - nice gardens.  But the ferrying over of guests and party is difficult if the streetcar is late, the line is long, etc.  EARLY is better.  About 11 things start to heat up.

Nice little article in the Star about a Toronto Island Wedding

This was a great wedding - a couple of scientists, a ferry trip, a rainy day, a SKYPE call overseas, and the STAR article mostly got it right.

The important thing is that Hala and Florian got married - and we called up their mum in Lebanon on Skype so she could hear the ceremony. And the food was great, and the Rectory Cafe was lovely,  And a great time was had by all - I love Hala's dress, and Florians shoes!

This is the 4th wedding this summer where the groom wore track shoes.  Last week the BRIDE surprised the groom with black adidas under her wedding dress.  Great style!

Rainy Day weddings - plan B is important

While I don't mind standing under an umbrella in a soft rain (which can be romantic), your granny and your friend in the new 5 inch heels, and people who DID get dressed up for you may mind, a lot.  Last night we had to move a wedding ceremony from the Music Garden, where the metal gazebo has no actual roof, to the reception site at the last minute.  That meant the groom had to wait at the garden for all of those people who were still coming to the first site, even though the skies opened and it should have been obvious the rain wasn't going to stop. 

Please have a "Plan B" - and a way to CONTACT your guests. 

You will usually need to contact them BEFORE they set out for the wedding -- or it's going to be a logistical nightmare (in the rain) trying to get everyone to your other location.  Appoint a contact person who is NOT in the wedding party, and give out their phone number to everyone.  Post them at the original location to redirect - so the groom won't have to stay at the original site.  Have a rain time already prepared, which is usually an hour later than the original wedding, so you have time to set up.

If you have the ability to simply move inside at the same location, talk to the site staff in enough time for them to adjust.  We often have a ceremony area roughly set up in another room, and all you'll need to do is move chairs, or set up some chairs for family and older guests and have other guests stand at the back

Respect your guests - their clothes and shoes and hairdos - and respect your musicians - string players can't cope with rain, and they won't want their instruments to get wet. Electronics can't get wet - so ditch the DJ and let them go inside.  In case of passing showers, you can always reasssemble outside for post-ceremony pix, toasts, and group pictures.

reminder: You must get your OWN marriage license!

It may be a function of the summer heat - but a few people have been confused lately about the legal process of getting married.  YOU MUST GO TO CITY HALL AND OBTAIN YOUR OWN MARRIAGE LICENSE. BY YOURSELVES (or at least one of you, with the other persons signed application and ID).

THE OFFICIANT DOES NOT OBTAIN YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE.  Nope. No way.  I'm not getting married TO YOU - I'm officiating at your wedding.  To the person you love.

Once you have gone to the Marriage Bureau, and satisfied the City Clerk that you meet the conditions for getting married - proved your identity, shown that you are of age, and not currently married to someone else, and not related to the other prospective spouse in one of the excluded categories - and filled out all the questions with the names of your parents, your full legal names (yes, you have to use all those names on your birth certificate) and your legal address, etc., and paid the fee, you will obtain an official license-to-be-married.

THEN, you can bring the license to a REGISTERED MARRIAGE OFFICIANT, along with your intended, two witnesses and your IDs, and you can get married. 

If you have any questions, please check with your officiant and with City Hall. Turning up at kind Father O'Flaherty's in the pouring rain on the Brooklyn waterfront to be married in the parlor with him in his slippers only happens in movies.  And trust me - a former Brooklynite - it doesn't happen in Brooklyn, either.

Cherry Beach wedding

Cherry beach (lifeguard station at left) was quiet, nice, and a little too full of cigarette butts, lurching labradors and goose poop. But we wrote the couple's name in the sand, had a simple ceremony, and watched the sunset across the channel. Much cooler than the city.


For a fancier early morning, consider Rosetta McClain park on the bluffs -  there's a nice tree/sward area (above right), or the view over the cliffs. you'll have to book it for a full wedding, but you could zip in early for a morning elopement, I expect.  The City website says hours are "dawn to dusk everyday".   hmmm

A few weddings in backyards

A big one: (fiddler! piper! lots of children! potluck reception) and a lovely happy family gathering. The bride watched the gathering from the upstairs deck - in disguise - and then we all went and got her.  The music lasted through the night...
Then some little ones:  a dozen people in a backyard - birds and flowers and more children, signing the papers in the gazebo, champagne for all.  Or just the couple and two friends as witnesses, quiet and peaceful, with a little Sarah MacLaughlan for background and some yummy food from St. Lawrence market, and then another nice wedding with the couple and parents and two special dogs, and then a couple of weddings on balconies, and a little one in the woods.  In bad weather, we can meet you in our office for a wee elopement, but it's fun to set out a little repast and have a toast in the comfort of home - especially with kids and backyards!

Kortwright Centre - wedding in the woods

Beautiful woodland wedding last evening - the birds were singing, a simple willow arch in the woods, handspun cloth on the signing table, birdseed for celebration -  the groomsmen wore suspenders and stovepipe pants, the ladies in canary yellow and orange sundresses, and a wonderful banjo and guitar player to bring the groom and bride up the path.  After supper and dancing, plans were afoot for a bonfire and singing.  What could be better?

Toronto Islands - Rectory Cafe wedding

Here we are, having a delightful indoor wedding in the Rectory Cafe on the Toronto Islands.  The planned terrace ceremony was moved inside, as the wind and rain rapped on the windows - but we were able to go outside after the ceremony for some windy pictures on the boardwalk.  The staff was great at re-arranging things, the food was lovely, the service was attentive.

This was a small informal wedding for about 30 people - and I have just asked the guests for their support for the couple. The resounding "Yes" was so hearty that we are reacting to the happy sound. Check out the great footwear.

A pretty dawn wedding in Ashbridges Bay

A lovely family wedding at dawn at Ashbridges Bay. We're in the midst of the wedding ceremony, and the couple's young son is helpfully pointing out some sea gulls behind us (not to worry, his granny was watching him while his grandfather took pictures). 

We often include small children in the ceremony, sometimes they hold the rings (in this case) and sometimes we can add a ceremony of encirclement at the end - but our young lad was so excited by the birds and the rocks that we just let him explore a bit while we did some important talking.

A Royal Conservatory Wedding - and a Philosopher's walk elopement

The 'big' wedding at the Royal Conservatory was lovely today.  Great Views from the Board Room at the top, where the groomsmen hung out.

But if you aren't having a big elaborate wedding, why not choose Philosophers Walk, right down below the Conservatory glass windows? It is lovely and green, and has lots of little nooks.  We could see it delightfully from the glass windows at the Conservatory...

Here is a couple getting married in the little rock amphitheatre behind the Music Building (just up from Trinity College).  No permit needed - but best for a group under 12.

Small weddings - tasks and jobs for friends and family

Small family weddings are some of the most delightful, and seem easy to plan.  But a) people NEED jobs, because they want to be helpful, and b) you need THEM, because the wedding couple can't do everything, especially on the day of the wedding.

So here are some tasks and suggestions for willing helpers:

1)  Site selection, pre-site prep and cleanup
Whether it's the beach, your backyard, a park or a patio or your condo roofdeck, someone needs to get there early, pick up hamburger wrappers and cigarette ends, and politely inform other people that there will be a short ceremony.  You need to assign someone to pick up your own discards - from ribbons to flower wrappings to champagne corks.  If you're borrowing chairs, someone needs to set them up and put them back.

2)  Greeting guests
Post a friend near entrances, along park roads, in the parking lot, at the corner of the block, to direct lost people.  Everyone should know when you're going to try to start, and who you need to wait for, and what to do with granny. 

3)  Drinks - toasts - glasses
If you don't have a bar person (with a SmartServ certificate), someone needs to pro-actively handle refreshments and clean up.  I have a friend who hired a 'butler in training' from a hospitality course at a community college, to go around the apartment, serve drinks and buss up, so the guests could talk and relax.

4)  Music and flowers and photos
Streaming or live, someone needs to provide ambient music, and to organize playlists on the day.
You can get flowers from a corner deli - but give someone that task, and ribbons and pins and tell them to take on the task of bringing the flowers to the reception - even if its back inside the house.
If you don't have a professional photographer, deputize ONE or TWO people as 'official' photographers, and tell everyone to give them their email so they can get pix - and tell guests that there WILL be pix, so they don't all have to snap the ceremony, and can actually listen

5)  Prezzies and guest book
You can get a little book from a dollar store, and ask someone to make sure everyone signs it.  Ask someone to collect gift cards and presents, and bring boxes or bags to contain them.  We often have to run for a kleenex box or something to hold envelopes safely.

6)   Granny minding and other relative ideas
Assign someone to monitor special guests and relatives - see that they are seated, they have food and someone to talk to, and that they get a moment to talk to the couple

7)  Ceremony honours
Signing the license, holding the rings, readings, lighting candles, speaking, ring warming, holding flowers, bringing the wine glass, all tasks can be split between friends and relatives to honour and recognize special people in your lives.

8)  MC and Wedding-Planner-stand-in
Even in a teeny wedding, the couple are busy doing lots of tasks, and they can't micro-manage their day. One or two people can take over as 'managers', fielding phone calls, seating granny, moving the presents inside, paying the musician, caterer & officiant, organizing toasts, and assigning small errands.  Thank them with a special toast AND a gift certificate for a massage, afterwards!