This was a small informal wedding for about 30 people - and I have just asked the guests for their support for the couple. The resounding "Yes" was so hearty that we are reacting to the happy sound. Check out the great footwear.
ELOPE TORONTO: Simple personalised legal weddings in Toronto. (Micro-weddings, pop-up weddings, 'registry or signing the papers' or 'City Hall' style weddings). Contact MaryBeaty (at) Gmail (dot) com.
Wednesday
Toronto Islands - Rectory Cafe wedding
This was a small informal wedding for about 30 people - and I have just asked the guests for their support for the couple. The resounding "Yes" was so hearty that we are reacting to the happy sound. Check out the great footwear.
Saturday
A pretty dawn wedding in Ashbridges Bay
We often include small children in the ceremony, sometimes they hold the rings (in this case) and sometimes we can add a ceremony of encirclement at the end - but our young lad was so excited by the birds and the rocks that we just let him explore a bit while we did some important talking.
Friday
A Royal Conservatory Wedding - and a Philosopher's walk elopement
The 'big' wedding at the Royal Conservatory was lovely today. Great Views from the Board Room at the top, where the groomsmen hung out.
But if you aren't having a big elaborate wedding, why not choose Philosophers Walk, right down below the Conservatory glass windows? It is lovely and green, and has lots of little nooks. We could see it delightfully from the glass windows at the Conservatory...
Here is a couple getting married in the little rock amphitheatre behind the Music Building (just up from Trinity College). No permit needed - but best for a group under 12.
But if you aren't having a big elaborate wedding, why not choose Philosophers Walk, right down below the Conservatory glass windows? It is lovely and green, and has lots of little nooks. We could see it delightfully from the glass windows at the Conservatory...
Here is a couple getting married in the little rock amphitheatre behind the Music Building (just up from Trinity College). No permit needed - but best for a group under 12.
Tuesday
Small weddings - tasks and jobs for friends and family
Small family weddings are some of the most delightful, and seem easy to plan. But a) people NEED jobs, because they want to be helpful, and b) you need THEM, because the wedding couple can't do everything, especially on the day of the wedding.
So here are some tasks and suggestions for willing helpers:
1) Site selection, pre-site prep and cleanup
Whether it's the beach, your backyard, a park or a patio or your condo roofdeck, someone needs to get there early, pick up hamburger wrappers and cigarette ends, and politely inform other people that there will be a short ceremony. You need to assign someone to pick up your own discards - from ribbons to flower wrappings to champagne corks. If you're borrowing chairs, someone needs to set them up and put them back.
2) Greeting guests
Post a friend near entrances, along park roads, in the parking lot, at the corner of the block, to direct lost people. Everyone should know when you're going to try to start, and who you need to wait for, and what to do with granny.
3) Drinks - toasts - glasses
If you don't have a bar person (with a SmartServ certificate), someone needs to pro-actively handle refreshments and clean up. I have a friend who hired a 'butler in training' from a hospitality course at a community college, to go around the apartment, serve drinks and buss up, so the guests could talk and relax.
4) Music and flowers and photos
Streaming or live, someone needs to provide ambient music, and to organize playlists on the day.
You can get flowers from a corner deli - but give someone that task, and ribbons and pins and tell them to take on the task of bringing the flowers to the reception - even if its back inside the house.
If you don't have a professional photographer, deputize ONE or TWO people as 'official' photographers, and tell everyone to give them their email so they can get pix - and tell guests that there WILL be pix, so they don't all have to snap the ceremony, and can actually listen
5) Prezzies and guest book
You can get a little book from a dollar store, and ask someone to make sure everyone signs it. Ask someone to collect gift cards and presents, and bring boxes or bags to contain them. We often have to run for a kleenex box or something to hold envelopes safely.
6) Granny minding and other relative ideas
Assign someone to monitor special guests and relatives - see that they are seated, they have food and someone to talk to, and that they get a moment to talk to the couple
7) Ceremony honours
Signing the license, holding the rings, readings, lighting candles, speaking, ring warming, holding flowers, bringing the wine glass, all tasks can be split between friends and relatives to honour and recognize special people in your lives.
8) MC and Wedding-Planner-stand-in
Even in a teeny wedding, the couple are busy doing lots of tasks, and they can't micro-manage their day. One or two people can take over as 'managers', fielding phone calls, seating granny, moving the presents inside, paying the musician, caterer & officiant, organizing toasts, and assigning small errands. Thank them with a special toast AND a gift certificate for a massage, afterwards!
So here are some tasks and suggestions for willing helpers:
1) Site selection, pre-site prep and cleanup
Whether it's the beach, your backyard, a park or a patio or your condo roofdeck, someone needs to get there early, pick up hamburger wrappers and cigarette ends, and politely inform other people that there will be a short ceremony. You need to assign someone to pick up your own discards - from ribbons to flower wrappings to champagne corks. If you're borrowing chairs, someone needs to set them up and put them back.
2) Greeting guests
Post a friend near entrances, along park roads, in the parking lot, at the corner of the block, to direct lost people. Everyone should know when you're going to try to start, and who you need to wait for, and what to do with granny.
3) Drinks - toasts - glasses
If you don't have a bar person (with a SmartServ certificate), someone needs to pro-actively handle refreshments and clean up. I have a friend who hired a 'butler in training' from a hospitality course at a community college, to go around the apartment, serve drinks and buss up, so the guests could talk and relax.
4) Music and flowers and photos
Streaming or live, someone needs to provide ambient music, and to organize playlists on the day.
You can get flowers from a corner deli - but give someone that task, and ribbons and pins and tell them to take on the task of bringing the flowers to the reception - even if its back inside the house.
If you don't have a professional photographer, deputize ONE or TWO people as 'official' photographers, and tell everyone to give them their email so they can get pix - and tell guests that there WILL be pix, so they don't all have to snap the ceremony, and can actually listen
5) Prezzies and guest book
You can get a little book from a dollar store, and ask someone to make sure everyone signs it. Ask someone to collect gift cards and presents, and bring boxes or bags to contain them. We often have to run for a kleenex box or something to hold envelopes safely.
6) Granny minding and other relative ideas
Assign someone to monitor special guests and relatives - see that they are seated, they have food and someone to talk to, and that they get a moment to talk to the couple
7) Ceremony honours
Signing the license, holding the rings, readings, lighting candles, speaking, ring warming, holding flowers, bringing the wine glass, all tasks can be split between friends and relatives to honour and recognize special people in your lives.
8) MC and Wedding-Planner-stand-in
Even in a teeny wedding, the couple are busy doing lots of tasks, and they can't micro-manage their day. One or two people can take over as 'managers', fielding phone calls, seating granny, moving the presents inside, paying the musician, caterer & officiant, organizing toasts, and assigning small errands. Thank them with a special toast AND a gift certificate for a massage, afterwards!
Sunday
Mixing cultural traditions in a non-religious wedding
We often marry people from different cultural & faith backgrounds. My first wedding ceremony, 15 years ago, was Jewish and Catholic, at the UN. Which we call a 'New York wedding'. Since then, we've married Hindu and Jewish, Buddhist and Jewish, Atheist and Protestant, Mormon and Catholic, Muslim and Catholic, Jain and Atheist, Shinto and Greek Orthodox, Korean and Japanese, Russian and Irish, German and Chinese, Filipino and Indian, Celt and Trinidanian, Pagan and Catholic - and many more combinations.
Please note, that we can certainly include cultural traditions, but we do not perform religious traditions ourselves. We have co-officiated with spiritual leaders (especially if you have a friend or family member who would like to participate), and welcome a discussion about your wishes to honour your cultures.
Here is a wedding we did on the Toronto islands for couples from different backgrounds:
"....Conrady, 33, is originally from Germany. Chaoui, 36, is from Lebanon. “We are part of an international culture,” explained Chaoui in an interview before the wedding. “We did not want to be bound by traditions. We did not try to satisfy any vision of how it should be,” she said. “We did not want it to be conformist and we wanted it to be affordable and fun. We are not rooted in any particular culture. We could have adopted North American traditions or German or Lebanese – but they are not really ours. We are a cultural hybrid.”
For example, in the Lebanese culture traditions are varied, she explains. “It is an eclectic country,” says Chaoui. “Often people spend a fortune on weddings. And the invitations to the festivities are very open. They are less structured. Everyone in the village is invited. There’s traditional folk dancing and belly dancing.” Conrady, as well, says typical weddings in Germany are large, open affairs.
By contrast, their Ward Island wedding was intentionally small, intimate and economical. Beaty was recruited because the couple appreciates humanist ideals. “We wanted everything relaxed and open-minded,” says Conrady."
Please note, that we can certainly include cultural traditions, but we do not perform religious traditions ourselves. We have co-officiated with spiritual leaders (especially if you have a friend or family member who would like to participate), and welcome a discussion about your wishes to honour your cultures.
Here is a wedding we did on the Toronto islands for couples from different backgrounds:
"....Conrady, 33, is originally from Germany. Chaoui, 36, is from Lebanon. “We are part of an international culture,” explained Chaoui in an interview before the wedding. “We did not want to be bound by traditions. We did not try to satisfy any vision of how it should be,” she said. “We did not want it to be conformist and we wanted it to be affordable and fun. We are not rooted in any particular culture. We could have adopted North American traditions or German or Lebanese – but they are not really ours. We are a cultural hybrid.”
For example, in the Lebanese culture traditions are varied, she explains. “It is an eclectic country,” says Chaoui. “Often people spend a fortune on weddings. And the invitations to the festivities are very open. They are less structured. Everyone in the village is invited. There’s traditional folk dancing and belly dancing.” Conrady, as well, says typical weddings in Germany are large, open affairs.
By contrast, their Ward Island wedding was intentionally small, intimate and economical. Beaty was recruited because the couple appreciates humanist ideals. “We wanted everything relaxed and open-minded,” says Conrady."
Monday
Unusual transportation wedding venues: Boats, Trains, Planes and Aeroplanes - and Streetcars
We often read of exciting weddings - bungee jumping, center ice, scuba diving, even the roller coaster. Yes, of course it's possible. You can say "I do" anywhere. Though you must always do the formal wedding paperwork (and say "I do " again) on land, with a street address. People simply get confused about the legal parts of the ceremony, and the 'ceremonial' parts.The official Provincial registry does not (yet) use GPS coordinates for the legal location of your wedding, nor latitude and longitude. That's why you can get married ON a boat, but you have to sign the papers on land at the dock. You can have your ceremony underwater, but you have to do the legal bits on land. We have married people in boats, on rooftops, and on the train, in a special car set up with a SpeakEasy bar. But once we alight from the fun place, we must sit down and do the legal parts at a (non-moving) legal address.
So - leave something for the honeymoon, in terms of adventure and escape - but plan your wedding elopement in a location with an address, a view, and a minimum of moving parts.
UPDATE: Yes, we had a nice wedding on a Mariposa Cruise Line Yacht in July. We signed the papers while docked, and performed the ceremony at the Island lagoon - then I caught a water taxi and came back to Queen's Quay. A bit windy, and the party boat that crossed our bow during the ceremony was annoying, though everyone yelled "congratulations". But it's an option...
UPDATE: OK - Streetcar wedding! Moving vehicle! You can rent a modern or a vintage streetcar, for about 55 people. Food, but no alcohol. So have a reception aftersGet out and sign papers on the group photo break! This was fun, but you have to rent a loudspeaker amp - you can't use the TTC one.
Wednesday
"Green" elopement locations in Toronto
You could bring a folding chair for granny, but the rest of you should simply stand around and leave no footprint... The Toronto Regional Conservation Authority books most of the pretty places, including Black Creek Village (which also offers a glade and a green). The largest 'downtown' gathering option seems to be Woodbine "Millenium" Park, which holds 100 people, or so says the Parks Department. Kew Gardens gazebo is up to 50 people - all standing, of course, and the St. James Park (gazebo) downtown is 40 people. You can book the fountain at Center Island for 100 people, but need to ask the island authority first. Otherwise, the Music Garden has lowered its capacity from 40 to 20 people,.
Part of the problem with park weddings is the number of people who have gone before you and ruined it all - bridezillas with chairs and high heels and videocams and altars and arches and rice... So naturally, the caretakers of our common spaces try to minimize the damage, and have restricted weddings to easily monitored spaces.
How about a friend with a great backyard?
Or go camping!
The Brickworks is nice, tho you MUST get a permit.
Ask me about Todmorden Mills - outside of mosquito season.
Sometimes there's permits for Riverdale Farm.
I like RIVERDALE PARK, - also ask me (small groups, tho).
Also the green roof at the Big Carrot.
Thursday
Weddings by Fountains!
Spring! Small little elopements by fountains - here are some fountain locations you may knowand some more!
Monday
Inexpensive locations for smallish weddings
Are hard to find, yes? For a simple wedding ceremony, everybody standing, here are some ideas. Do try small restaurants. Almost ANY restaurant will be happy to accommodate a group for dinner or cocktails or brunch, but don't say 'wedding' until you chat about the room and food. Then say "small private event, with a short little ceremony". Do check hotel rooms! You can probably find a suite in most hotels, suitable for a meeting for a dozen or so - often with a view! Ask friends and relatives about Condo party rooms, or nice lounges they have seen, including, rooftops, back patios, all very suitable for a nice wedding. Or try:
Co-working spaces - CSI, etc. Book a meeting room.
AirBnB apartments with balconies
Co-working spaces - CSI, etc. Book a meeting room.
AirBnB apartments with balconies
Your friend's condo party room.
Restaurants with decks, patios, if you eat there after.
Good old Trinity Bellwoods (but you may have to share the space with the denizens of the park - animal and human - same thing with Dufferin Park or Christie Pitts)
Pick a piece of waterfront that isn't owned already - Sunnyside or the Beaches
The Music Garden, Harbourfront (no chairs, 20 people). No shelter for rain.
Hart House Chapel. 30 people max. Also other small pretty rooms available.
Allan Gardens 12-40 people? No chairs. Lovely plants, and rainproof.
The Multifaith Centre at University of Toronto - lots of nice rooms for 6-100 people ask Mary (Chaplain at UofT) especially if you are staff or student.
Cafe on the Toronto Island - including their terrace.
Small terrace area and private room at Le Select Bistro -they're back, check re weddings.
Restaurants with decks, patios, if you eat there after.
Good old Trinity Bellwoods (but you may have to share the space with the denizens of the park - animal and human - same thing with Dufferin Park or Christie Pitts)
Pick a piece of waterfront that isn't owned already - Sunnyside or the Beaches
The Music Garden, Harbourfront (no chairs, 20 people). No shelter for rain.
Hart House Chapel. 30 people max. Also other small pretty rooms available.
Allan Gardens 12-40 people? No chairs. Lovely plants, and rainproof.
The Multifaith Centre at University of Toronto - lots of nice rooms for 6-100 people ask Mary (Chaplain at UofT) especially if you are staff or student.
Cafe on the Toronto Island - including their terrace.
Small terrace area and private room at Le Select Bistro -they're back, check re weddings.
Grange Park, Riverdale Park, Withrow park - or your local parkette.
Weekday elopement at the CN Tower
This works best on a weekday at 10am - particularly in winter! It's a little crowded in the summer months, course - but we nearly had the skypod to ourselves.
We had lunch at CANOE afterwards - for another great view!
Thursday
Make your own Wedding Rings
The popular classes at the Devils Workshop are now running night at day. "...Many students are empowered by learning how to safely and properly use such tools as an oxy-propane torch and jewellery saw. Students will learn how to measure, cut, forge and polish precious metals into unique pieces of art. It is a hobby that provides a creative outlet, handcrafted gifts for loved ones and a great way to adorn yourselves in jewellery you have only imagined possible..."
We blogged about myo rings in Brooklyn a couple of years ago - and the trend is obviously widespread. You can even find places that let you put your fingerprints on the rings. If the Devil is full, consult other ateliers - who may allow you some personal input into your rings.
We blogged about myo rings in Brooklyn a couple of years ago - and the trend is obviously widespread. You can even find places that let you put your fingerprints on the rings. If the Devil is full, consult other ateliers - who may allow you some personal input into your rings.
Tuesday
Elements of a simple legal marriage ceremony
HOW to HOLD a SIMPLE LEGAL MARRIAGE CEREMONY
The couple themselves are responsible for obtaining a legal marriage license before the wedding. You may apply online, but one of you (or both) must go IN PERSON to pick up the license and swear that the information is correct.
You must be married by a LICENSED ONTARIO MARRIAGE OFFICIANT.
After a simple verbal legal ceremony in front of 2 witnesses, the legal officiant will give the couple a Record of Solemnization, signed by the Officiant and the witnesses, to state that the wedding took place. The officiant must then file your official Marriage License with the Registrar General within 48 hours.
In 6-10 weeks, the couple may request a Certificate of Marriage Registration (known as a "Marriage Certificate") from the Province of Ontario (note, this is not mailed automatically, you must apply for it). See more information here: Toronto Registry Office, and Getting Married in Ontario
Note requirements for divorced couples, those with foreign identity documents.
You must also provide TWO legal witnesses, over the age of 18.
'SIGNING THE PAPERS'
Couples often ask us if we will just 'sign the papers', because they want a very simple legal wedding ceremony, or perhaps they are planning a more elaborate ceremony later, with friends and family, and want a legal ceremony first, or sometimes they have had a cultural ceremony which was not legal, or they have asked a friend of the family who is not a legally registered officiant to perform a 'celebration of marriage' ceremony, and want to legally 'register' the marriage.
While 'signing the papers' is the closing part of a legal marriage ceremony, the Marriage Act requires that we first hold a simple verbal actual ceremony, in front of 2 witnesses, which includes the required elements legislated by the Marriage Act of Ontario. This means the voices of the two persons, repeating the words from the Marriage Act. This is because because marriage is a formal legal agreement between two parties - which is enacted in a public 'marriage ceremony', where you state in front of the legally certified officiant that you are accepting the other person as your legal spouse: this is the same whether we're meeting in your kitchen, my office, the CN Tower, the beach - or in a formal wedding location. You sign the documents AFTER the ceremony, to show you all participated in the legal wedding.
If you wish to include other family or friends, other persons can offer statements, readings, blessings, introduce the couple, and also perform the ring exchange (which is not a legal requirement. This is called a 'co-officiated' wedding, in which the legal officiant performs the required parts, and the other person may conduct the traditional or family-oriented parts.
ASSEMBLY, STATEMENT OF PARTIES. The officiant will introduce themselves by name, as a licensed representative of the government and state their own licensing body and tradition, and announce "We have assembled together at this time for the wedding ceremony of (full legal names) NAME1 and NAME2.
WITNESS AFFIRMATION. The officiant notes the presence of the witnesses, and asks for their participation: "Are you willing to be a legal witness for the marriage of N and N2?" "I am").
STATEMENT on MARRIAGE. The officiant makes a short statement about marriage, so that we all know we are present for a wedding ceremony. (not a betrothal, or commitment, etc.)
THE VOWS. The officiant asks the couple to each state out loud to the other person that they accept the other person as their legal spouse. They must say: "I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (Name) do take you (Name) to my lawful wedded husband/wife/partner/spouse".
You may add personal vows or statements after this legal portion.
DECLARATION. The officiant states that this contract has been entered into by these two persons, and that the witnesses have witnessed this agreement (example: "In front of us all, this couple have exchanged their promises and agreed to meet sorrow and joy as one family") Then:
Then the officiant, the witnesses and the couple each sign the MARRIAGE LICENSE, MARRIAGE REGISTER, & RECORD of SOLEMNIZATION.
The officiant congratulates the couple and INTRODUCES THEM as a married couple.
KISS & TOAST etc. (optional)
The officiant files the MARRIAGE LICENSE in 48 hours, and 6-8 weeks later, the couple can apply for the CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE REGISTRATION, described above.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is a CHECKLIST for organizing a simple wedding, including music, handling of guests, announcements, etc.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OPTIONAL CEREMONY ELEMENTS:
The Exchange of Rings, Music, Poetry, Candles, Flowers, Readings, and other rituals are traditional, and optional. THE KISS IS OPTIONAL. RINGS ARE OPTIONAL. The couple may write their own vows, and say them in their own language. At any point during the ceremony, the couple may address their family or assembled guests, or ask a friend or family member to make remarks, to offer readings, music, or other appropriate contributions.
The OFFICIANT may also read appropriate selections, as the couple requests. The couple may exchange flowers, a wine cup, tea, candles, or other symbols. The tone can be formal, informal, humorous, family-oriented, or anything you choose, as long as the required elements are included.
Be sure to ask your officiant for the options available to expand upon these required elements, or to add cultural elements from your tradition. (Glass smashing, wine toast, 7 blessings, 7 steps, circling, ring warming, handfasting, tea or saki ceremony, etc.)
The couple themselves are responsible for obtaining a legal marriage license before the wedding. You may apply online, but one of you (or both) must go IN PERSON to pick up the license and swear that the information is correct.
You must be married by a LICENSED ONTARIO MARRIAGE OFFICIANT.
After a simple verbal legal ceremony in front of 2 witnesses, the legal officiant will give the couple a Record of Solemnization, signed by the Officiant and the witnesses, to state that the wedding took place. The officiant must then file your official Marriage License with the Registrar General within 48 hours.
In 6-10 weeks, the couple may request a Certificate of Marriage Registration (known as a "Marriage Certificate") from the Province of Ontario (note, this is not mailed automatically, you must apply for it). See more information here: Toronto Registry Office, and Getting Married in Ontario
Note requirements for divorced couples, those with foreign identity documents.
You must also provide TWO legal witnesses, over the age of 18.
'SIGNING THE PAPERS'
Couples often ask us if we will just 'sign the papers', because they want a very simple legal wedding ceremony, or perhaps they are planning a more elaborate ceremony later, with friends and family, and want a legal ceremony first, or sometimes they have had a cultural ceremony which was not legal, or they have asked a friend of the family who is not a legally registered officiant to perform a 'celebration of marriage' ceremony, and want to legally 'register' the marriage.
While 'signing the papers' is the closing part of a legal marriage ceremony, the Marriage Act requires that we first hold a simple verbal actual ceremony, in front of 2 witnesses, which includes the required elements legislated by the Marriage Act of Ontario. This means the voices of the two persons, repeating the words from the Marriage Act. This is because because marriage is a formal legal agreement between two parties - which is enacted in a public 'marriage ceremony', where you state in front of the legally certified officiant that you are accepting the other person as your legal spouse: this is the same whether we're meeting in your kitchen, my office, the CN Tower, the beach - or in a formal wedding location. You sign the documents AFTER the ceremony, to show you all participated in the legal wedding.
STANDARD LEGAL WEDDING
Wedding Ceremonies may thus be informal or formal, but the following parts must be included, and the LEGAL MARRIAGE OFFICIANT must conduct the parts listed below. If you wish to include other family or friends, other persons can offer statements, readings, blessings, introduce the couple, and also perform the ring exchange (which is not a legal requirement. This is called a 'co-officiated' wedding, in which the legal officiant performs the required parts, and the other person may conduct the traditional or family-oriented parts.
ASSEMBLY, STATEMENT OF PARTIES. The officiant will introduce themselves by name, as a licensed representative of the government and state their own licensing body and tradition, and announce "We have assembled together at this time for the wedding ceremony of (full legal names) NAME1 and NAME2.
WITNESS AFFIRMATION. The officiant notes the presence of the witnesses, and asks for their participation: "Are you willing to be a legal witness for the marriage of N and N2?" "I am").
STATEMENT on MARRIAGE. The officiant makes a short statement about marriage, so that we all know we are present for a wedding ceremony. (not a betrothal, or commitment, etc.)
Example: Marriage is a legal institution not to be
entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but following consideration and with reflection
by both parties. A marriage is based on mutual love and respect,
and a determination on the part of both persons to support and adjust to each
other's temperaments and conditions, in health or sickness, joy or sadness,
ease or hardship. It is with this
understanding of the shared benefits and legal responsibilities of marriage that n & n2 come now to be joined
INTENTION to MARRY or CONSENT. The officiant asks the couple individually if they are here freely, knowing no legal impediment to being married, and are prepared to enter into a legal marriage at this time with the other party, and asks them each to repeat: "I do solemnly declare that I do not know of any lawful impediment why I (Name1) may not be joined in matrimony to (Name2).THE VOWS. The officiant asks the couple to each state out loud to the other person that they accept the other person as their legal spouse. They must say: "I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (Name) do take you (Name) to my lawful wedded husband/wife/partner/spouse".
You may add personal vows or statements after this legal portion.
DECLARATION. The officiant states that this contract has been entered into by these two persons, and that the witnesses have witnessed this agreement (example: "In front of us all, this couple have exchanged their promises and agreed to meet sorrow and joy as one family") Then:
"I [OFFICIANT NAME] by virtue of the powers vested in me
by the Marriage Act, do hereby pronounce you Name1 and Name2 to be married"
Then the officiant, the witnesses and the couple each sign the MARRIAGE LICENSE, MARRIAGE REGISTER, & RECORD of SOLEMNIZATION.
The officiant congratulates the couple and INTRODUCES THEM as a married couple.
KISS & TOAST etc. (optional)
The officiant files the MARRIAGE LICENSE in 48 hours, and 6-8 weeks later, the couple can apply for the CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE REGISTRATION, described above.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is a CHECKLIST for organizing a simple wedding, including music, handling of guests, announcements, etc.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OPTIONAL CEREMONY ELEMENTS:
The Exchange of Rings, Music, Poetry, Candles, Flowers, Readings, and other rituals are traditional, and optional. THE KISS IS OPTIONAL. RINGS ARE OPTIONAL. The couple may write their own vows, and say them in their own language. At any point during the ceremony, the couple may address their family or assembled guests, or ask a friend or family member to make remarks, to offer readings, music, or other appropriate contributions.
The OFFICIANT may also read appropriate selections, as the couple requests. The couple may exchange flowers, a wine cup, tea, candles, or other symbols. The tone can be formal, informal, humorous, family-oriented, or anything you choose, as long as the required elements are included.
Be sure to ask your officiant for the options available to expand upon these required elements, or to add cultural elements from your tradition. (Glass smashing, wine toast, 7 blessings, 7 steps, circling, ring warming, handfasting, tea or saki ceremony, etc.)
Locations: try restaurants with private dining rooms
Go where you usually eat!
Just go into your local boite and talk nicely and see if they'll let you hold a small wedding between service (before lunch, before early dinner). We suggest you don't start out by saying "wedding", but ask if they have a quieter table for a small 'presentation' or 'celebration', then you can let them know it's actually a little private wedding ceremony, no confetti, no fuss or muss, just standing in the corner for 15 minutes, and then champagne and signing things...
We've used Le Select's back terrace as well - reasonable with a prix fixe menu - a delightful wedding. And the Bistro at the AGO let us have a small elopement (6 people) at 4, just in the back when they weren't busy. We had a fun wedding in the basement of Rodney's Oyster House (just 20 people). Here are some other ideas
Sometimes you have to use your imagination - a snug at your local pub, the window area of a cafe, the upper room at a bistro, the back patio or garden of your favourite brunch place. Just chat with the staff. If you have more than 6 people in a smaller place that does not have separate "event" staff, they will probably need to assign a staff member as your waiter/server, and they may need to re-arrange tables before and after, but as long as you indicate that you're willing to order drinks and not put too many extra demands on their staff, they'll be willing to consider your event. You might start a trend!
Just go into your local boite and talk nicely and see if they'll let you hold a small wedding between service (before lunch, before early dinner). We suggest you don't start out by saying "wedding", but ask if they have a quieter table for a small 'presentation' or 'celebration', then you can let them know it's actually a little private wedding ceremony, no confetti, no fuss or muss, just standing in the corner for 15 minutes, and then champagne and signing things...
We've used Le Select's back terrace as well - reasonable with a prix fixe menu - a delightful wedding. And the Bistro at the AGO let us have a small elopement (6 people) at 4, just in the back when they weren't busy. We had a fun wedding in the basement of Rodney's Oyster House (just 20 people). Here are some other ideas
Sometimes you have to use your imagination - a snug at your local pub, the window area of a cafe, the upper room at a bistro, the back patio or garden of your favourite brunch place. Just chat with the staff. If you have more than 6 people in a smaller place that does not have separate "event" staff, they will probably need to assign a staff member as your waiter/server, and they may need to re-arrange tables before and after, but as long as you indicate that you're willing to order drinks and not put too many extra demands on their staff, they'll be willing to consider your event. You might start a trend!
Allan Gardens for an intimate wedding
Be sure to book it for your event, don't just turn up, as the staff will have to refuse you. Also, please write me if you're considering this, as I have some advice on the type of permit to save $$>
Info on our locations page
Here's a few more Allan weddings:
NOTE: in 2016, the Banana trees and palms at Allan Gardens got hit by frost, when the power went out. BUT, that means the other plants to more light. Here is a 'vine lady' sculpture from the Toronto Garden show which is occupying the main palm court area...
Sunday
Small weddings - rent a hotel suite
You can rent a suite or just a big hotel room (try something quirky like the Gladstone or the Drake or something grander like the Royal York or King Eddy, if you want more space than the boutique hotels). The couple can stay there, (or in a smaller room), and you can have drinks catered (check about bringing in a cake or cupcakes) and hold the ceremony in the room.
Then set up for a mini-reception, license signing and pictures, and take everyone to dinner in the hotel restaurant. Warm, cozy, and you don't have to hire cabs or walk through snow and slush to another venue.
Wedding photography - how much to book for an elopement?
I'm NOT a photographer - and I have some very nice wedding photography colleagues. So this is a personal opinion, and not a professional one.
Wedding photographers will offer you packages based on time, and quantity/type of photos. If you are eloping (private wedding), and not having a big reception, how long do you need a photographer? (And yes, it's a great idea to have a real photographer shoot your elopement).
In our experience, it's nice to have one meet you at home, (optional), follow you to the ceremony, capture the trip (climbing the stairs at the CN tower, taking the streetcar/subway, coming up in the elevator to the rooftop, etc.) shoot the wedding and the signing of the license (20 minutes), and the hugs and happiness after (20 minutes). If you want street shots, you can ask them to follow you to another location for some aftershots (20-30 minutes).
But you don't need LOTS of shots of preparation, unless you want them. So 1 hour minimum will cover the ceremony, or 2 hours the arrival, ceremony and aftershots, or 3 hours max will cover the home shots, the wedding, and the 'just married' aftershots. A photographer needs to know the real time you'll be using their services, so choose 1,2,3 hours, and then discuss the number of pix, presentation, etc. If a photographer is also acting as a witness, it's nice to add a little gratuity as well.
Wedding photographers will offer you packages based on time, and quantity/type of photos. If you are eloping (private wedding), and not having a big reception, how long do you need a photographer? (And yes, it's a great idea to have a real photographer shoot your elopement).
In our experience, it's nice to have one meet you at home, (optional), follow you to the ceremony, capture the trip (climbing the stairs at the CN tower, taking the streetcar/subway, coming up in the elevator to the rooftop, etc.) shoot the wedding and the signing of the license (20 minutes), and the hugs and happiness after (20 minutes). If you want street shots, you can ask them to follow you to another location for some aftershots (20-30 minutes).
But you don't need LOTS of shots of preparation, unless you want them. So 1 hour minimum will cover the ceremony, or 2 hours the arrival, ceremony and aftershots, or 3 hours max will cover the home shots, the wedding, and the 'just married' aftershots. A photographer needs to know the real time you'll be using their services, so choose 1,2,3 hours, and then discuss the number of pix, presentation, etc. If a photographer is also acting as a witness, it's nice to add a little gratuity as well.
Wednesday
We make house calls! Weddings at home
We frequently perform marriage ceremonies at your apartment or home (or the Party Room of your condo, in the pix to the left, for instance). It's a nice alternative to City Hall, and you can cater your own wedding, arrange your own candles, flowers, even use your own music library.If your apartment is small, and you've invited family, ask friends and family who have a larger apartment if you can hold the wedding there - it's a nice wedding gift to offer a space for a ceremony.
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| wedding in my apartment |
Here is a small elopement in my living room - though we didn't have a fire in the fireplace. You can easily arrange a 'parlor wedding', with a few candles, some flowers, and some champagne.
Elopement Weddings at the CN Tower
...must be discreet. All small weddings in public places are really 'guerilla' weddings, or 'ad hoc' events. As long as you have checked to see that they are not forbidden, you can always assemble and hold a little 10 minute private wedding in a public space - esp. if it's just 5 people: the officiant, the couple, and two witnesses.
Avoid big wedding dresses, and other flashy items, do NOT set up video equipment to impede other tourists or bystanders, and simply assemble and hold the wedding. Think ''engagement" or "proposal" scenario.
If you are interested in a bigger, flashier event, you're really going to have to consider renting the space or asking for a permit (which will probably not be granted, as security is always concerned about public access). But we HAVE done a few small elopements at the CN tower, just ask for details and we'll try to help. Hint: A morning in FEBRUARY is fairly easy!
Avoid big wedding dresses, and other flashy items, do NOT set up video equipment to impede other tourists or bystanders, and simply assemble and hold the wedding. Think ''engagement" or "proposal" scenario.
If you are interested in a bigger, flashier event, you're really going to have to consider renting the space or asking for a permit (which will probably not be granted, as security is always concerned about public access). But we HAVE done a few small elopements at the CN tower, just ask for details and we'll try to help. Hint: A morning in FEBRUARY is fairly easy!
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| OR, you can get married with a VIEW of the CN tower! |
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