Small family wedding at Home in Little Italy - Sunday brunch!

Home wedding

We were originally planning on Trinity Bellwoods, but the weather did not cooperate, so we had a small home wedding instead at their home near Little Italy.  Lovely and light, just the family, and then everyone went out to brunch to celebrate - and I moseyed on to ANOTHER wedding up on Bathurst, where they hosted a family brunch in the house, with uncles and aunts and cousins and all.  Lovely busy sunny family wedding day!

Peter Pan Bistro - small family wedding downtown

Peter Pan Bistro, 2nd Floor

Had a lovely smallish family wedding this weekend for about 40 people on the 2nd floor event space at the Peter Pan Bistro, on Queen West.  Here's the space (we held the ceremony by the fireplace in the front window, then flipped the room for dinner, while they set up a bar in the back space).
The staff was wonderful, the post-wedding cocktail hour was yummy (crab cakes, cheese straws and fun things). I hadn't eaten at the PPan for 30 years or so, so it was really fun to see it transformed.

Hart House Chapel - delightful family wedding

Hart House Chapel

Funny moment at a lovely family wedding at the non-denominational chapel at Hart House, University of Toronto.  We have held many elopements in the chapel, and it's good for a small family wedding (the maximum capacity is 25-30, but kind of squishy).
Lovely photos are by Nika Jaksic

Photos at the Carillon tower

A pretty dawn wedding in Ashbridges Bay

A lovely family wedding at dawn at Ashbridges Bay. We're in the midst of the wedding ceremony, and the couple's young son is helpfully pointing out some sea gulls behind us (not to worry, his granny was watching him while his grandfather took pictures). 

We often include small children in the ceremony, sometimes they hold the rings (in this case) and sometimes we can add a ceremony of encirclement at the end - but our young lad was so excited by the birds and the rocks that we just let him explore a bit while we did some important talking.

Small weddings - tasks and jobs for friends and family

Small family weddings are some of the most delightful, and seem easy to plan.  But a) people NEED jobs, because they want to be helpful, and b) you need THEM, because the wedding couple can't do everything, especially on the day of the wedding.

So here are some tasks and suggestions for willing helpers:

1)  Site selection, pre-site prep and cleanup
Whether it's the beach, your backyard, a park or a patio or your condo roofdeck, someone needs to get there early, pick up hamburger wrappers and cigarette ends, and politely inform other people that there will be a short ceremony.  You need to assign someone to pick up your own discards - from ribbons to flower wrappings to champagne corks.  If you're borrowing chairs, someone needs to set them up and put them back.

2)  Greeting guests
Post a friend near entrances, along park roads, in the parking lot, at the corner of the block, to direct lost people.  Everyone should know when you're going to try to start, and who you need to wait for, and what to do with granny. 

3)  Drinks - toasts - glasses
If you don't have a bar person (with a SmartServ certificate), someone needs to pro-actively handle refreshments and clean up.  I have a friend who hired a 'butler in training' from a hospitality course at a community college, to go around the apartment, serve drinks and buss up, so the guests could talk and relax.

4)  Music and flowers and photos
Streaming or live, someone needs to provide ambient music, and to organize playlists on the day.
You can get flowers from a corner deli - but give someone that task, and ribbons and pins and tell them to take on the task of bringing the flowers to the reception - even if its back inside the house.
If you don't have a professional photographer, deputize ONE or TWO people as 'official' photographers, and tell everyone to give them their email so they can get pix - and tell guests that there WILL be pix, so they don't all have to snap the ceremony, and can actually listen

5)  Prezzies and guest book
You can get a little book from a dollar store, and ask someone to make sure everyone signs it.  Ask someone to collect gift cards and presents, and bring boxes or bags to contain them.  We often have to run for a kleenex box or something to hold envelopes safely.

6)   Granny minding and other relative ideas
Assign someone to monitor special guests and relatives - see that they are seated, they have food and someone to talk to, and that they get a moment to talk to the couple

7)  Ceremony honours
Signing the license, holding the rings, readings, lighting candles, speaking, ring warming, holding flowers, bringing the wine glass, all tasks can be split between friends and relatives to honour and recognize special people in your lives.

8)  MC and Wedding-Planner-stand-in
Even in a teeny wedding, the couple are busy doing lots of tasks, and they can't micro-manage their day. One or two people can take over as 'managers', fielding phone calls, seating granny, moving the presents inside, paying the musician, caterer & officiant, organizing toasts, and assigning small errands.  Thank them with a special toast AND a gift certificate for a massage, afterwards!

Surprise wedding: Engagement party and Wedding in One

We have had a few surprise weddings recently - and they are always very warm and exciting. The most common situation is when a couple decides to combine an engagement party and a wedding - and often a few guests and family are part of the plan, but not everyone. The officiant often arrives, introduces themselves, asks people to join the couple, and proceeds with the marriage service. Sometimes the couple slip away briefly and change clothes, and rejoin the group for the ceremony.

In two recent cases, we have held these ceremonies in the party rooms of condos, where it was already set up for a mini-reception for the 'engagement'.  Here is an example of a 'surprise' ceremony, from our other website.

Some advice:
** Decide in advance who will serve as witnesses - this can be an honour for people who were not part of the planning.
** Decide in advance who will need a little time to compose themselves before the ceremony (people who may be affected by the surprise).
** Take a few minutes to set up. Provide chairs in front of the couple to seat elderly guests and close family. Hug some people. Ask close relatives to hold your rings, and involve them.
** Provide a guest book or some other way to capture people's reactions.
** Pass out champagne during the signing of the license, to prepare for toasts and congratulations